The Formalities

First of all, let us apologize for the infrequent posting while we've been in China. Since the Chinese government has restrictions of certain blog site and social networking sites, we've been unable to make entries directly to our blog or to Facebook. But let me throw a shout-out to our daughter Dallys who has agreed to do a cut and paste job for us whenever we can get her an update. Thanks, Dallys! Today started out with patience-taxing formalities, and ended with Chloe showing more and more of her sweet personality by the hour. Immediately after breakfast this morning we met our guide and another family who is adopting from this region, and went to a conference room here in the hotel. It was time for the formalities. Even though the process in getting to this point supposedly included a review of our backgrounds, finances, criminal records, etc, this was one last chance for the Chinese authorities to review key information and put there stamp of approval on the adoption. It's important to note, too, that in getting "custody" of Chloe yesterday, we signed papers that it was a 24-hour "trial period," after which we must get back together and indicate that we were satisfied with things. We first met with a representative of the orphanage who finalized the paperwork between us and them, essentially transferring custody of Chloe to us permanently. This also included payment of the "mandatory gift" (a term we've always found interesting). The amount of the required "gift" has almost doubled since we adoped Isabelle three years ago, be we hope that of all the expenses involved in this process, that this one makes a difference for some children because it goes to the orphanage. This woman seemed very kind, both yesterday and today, but she seemed to be a bit taken back when Chloe barely acknowledged her presence. And that follows yesterday when, as she was leaving our hotel room, Chloe didn't cry or fuss at all. She seemed very much at ease with us (the mother of the other adoptive child said Chloe acted like she had been with us for a long time.) We really hope that the orphanage representative, who we believe was one of Chloe's nannies, didn't take it too personally. We believe strongly that Chloe's quick acceptance of her situation is the result of many prayers by many people that she would somehow be prepared for the transition that she had no idea was coming. And it appears that those prayers have been answered in abundance. Our next vist was with a representative of the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA). Of course, this included payment of another fee...the registration fee. And although we really try to accept cultural differences in the way things are done, this was a guy who seemed like he really didn't like his job. We realize there are certain procedures that must be followed, but adopting a child should be a time of celebration. From what we recall everyone involved in Isabelle's adoption seemed to make it that way. But this guy was gruff and no-nonsense, and turned our meeting into what felt like an interrogation. We tried to be upbeat and cheerful in responding to his questions, but it got very little response. Except when, in asking us about how many children we have combined, he realized that by adding little Chloe we have a super-sized Brady Bunch. At that point we got a chuckle out of him, but it seemed to be one of derision. We realize that we go completely against the Chinese norms, but his response left us feeling uncomfortable. But it didn't last long...Chloe wouldn't let it! Finally, a bit more paperwork and signatures with the notary...the woman who takes the information from the orphanage and the approval from the CCAA and makes it official. Another fee payment (this one required to be in US Dollars as opposed to Chinese currency for some reason) and we were one our way. And none too soon! The room was stuffy and the hotel had not turned the AC on, and it had been a chore for Diann to keep Izzy and Chloe occupied for more than 2 hours while Bill primarily dealt with the paperwork. But it was over. And after a few hours our guide, Sarah, came to our hotel room with the official documents. According to the Chinese government Chloe is now our daughter. We just need to wait for her Chinese passport (she's our daughter, but still a Chinese citizen) in order to leave Hohhot and go to Guangzhou to jump through the US government's hoops. But through it all, Chloe has opened up more and more. We're seeing behaviors that we didn't see in Isabelle for a long time, and attribute them to the fact that Chloe was in foster care for the first year and a half of her life, only having gone to the orphanage in Baotou last October after the provincial government recalled all children who have been in foster care after a couple of house fires in foster homes. Chloe has an incredibly engaging smile, and loves to laugh. She loves to play hide and seek. She will hide behind a bed, or around the corner of a wall, and poke her head out to see who is watching, and when she makes eye contact with someone she will giggle and giggle. And this girl loves to eat. We brought along quite a selection of Gerber "Graduates" snacks for toddlers, and to watch her eat them and protect them you would think she'd been starved for months. That doesn't appear to be the case because she is a bit chunky, as opposed to the almost emaciated condition we found Isabelle in. But from what we've read in preparing for this (again) the kids coming from orphanages will either eat everything in site, or they develop a survival function of not appearing to need or want to eat. Isabelle was the latter, but Chloe will eat until you take it away...and then she'll point and grunt until you give her more. But she is apparently a picky eater. She loves rice or noodles, but isn't too fond of fruit. And she loves to chase whatever she's eating with a drink of water or apple juice. We are so blessed. As we sat in our room to wind down from the day, we remarked how amazing it is that adoptive parents, not just us, frequently talk about how their child could not be more perfect for them. And we're no exception. Isabelle was a perfect fit for our family, and Chloe is as well...but in so many different ways. We acknowledge the hand of a loving God, who is in the details of our lives, that has blessed us so abundantly. We'll post more...well Dallys will...in the next few days.