A low-key day in Hohhot

Warning to reader: This post is being written under the lingering influence of somewhat ineffective Ambien at 2:00AM. So I ask your forgiveness for any typos or less than lucid ramblings!Today was one of the days in our itinerary where we had no official business to deal with. We are just waiting for the authorities for process all of the paperwork signed, registered and notarized yesterday, and to allow for the processing of Chloe's passport. So after breakfast in the hotel restaurant, we met up with the other adoptive family and our guide and went in search of souvenirs unique to the Inner Mongolia region. Our guide took us to a couple of different markets; one a traditional Chinese market with many storefronts and merchants of all kinds, and the other a more traditionally western department store. We wanted very much to get a few things that, later in life, will give Chloe a sense for where she came from. Not only China...it's such a massive country...but also the region where she spent the first couple of years of her life. China itself obviously has a history dating back thousands of years. And although perhaps a little less documented, the Inner Mongolian region is no exception. Genghis Khan was a Mongol leader came to power by uniting many of the nomadic tribes of northeast Asia. After founding the Mongol Empire he started the Mongol invastions and raids of the various dynasties. By the end of his life, the Mongol Empire occupied a substantial portion of Central Asia and China. Needless to say he is very revered around here. And the best way we can describe the area is to equate it to Wyoming without the Tetons. Although parts of Hohhot appear quite modernized, once you get outside of the city proper there is a rural, agricultural feel. That feel is reflected in much of their items for sale...things like leather goods, knifes, and various types of animal and wildlife pictures, as well as all types of products depicting the history of the Mongol empire. But after a couple hours of shopping, both Chloe and Isabelle seemed vary tired. So we opted out of a visit to what appeared to be a very nice museum and took a taxi back to the hotel to let them nap. And there's something about the taxis here that frightens Isabelle. We don't think it's necessary the erratic driving, but each time we're used a taxi she's seemed noticably hesitant...to the point of crying. But once we're in and on our way she settles down. Just one in a series of interesting behaviors we're seeing. After letting the girls naps for a couple of hours we decided to enjoy the sunshine (although it was windy and rather cold) and take a walk to one of the central shopping/entertainment areas in Hohhot. It's only about a half mile from our hotel, and Chloe in particular really seemed to enjoy being outside for a while. And talk about being the center of attention. We can only imagine how odd we much look. Two pasty white Americans, one a blue eyed blond, walking around with two Chinese girls. It has become very entertaining for us to watch the gawkers literally run into poles or other people because they looking back as us trying to figure out what in the world we're doing. The only time it gets uncomfortable for us is when someone, usually a women, will come up want literally try to take one of the girls out of our arms to hold them. We're told by our guide that this is actually very flattering, but it sure doesn't seem that way. Especially to Isabelle. She wants nothing to do with it. And sweet little Chloe just goes with the flow. After successfully navigating a major intersection (the drivers, cyclers and pedestrians have rules known only to them!) we arrived at the Victory Shopping Center. It's very modern with what appear to be name-brand and upscale store, but our destination: McDonalds!! Although Diann has been more adventuresome than I've seen her in the past in trying foods that are outside her comfort zone (let's face it, that isn't saying much) she really wanted an order of french fries and a Diet Coke. So while Diann and the girls sat in a booth to continue our version of the freak show, Bill ventured to the counter to place an order. And fortunately the counter help spoke enough English that with a bit of pointing back and forth (I'm pretty sure I can now say "do you want fries with that?" in Mandarin) we got an almost correct order. Somewhere along the way my attempt to get a kids meal for Isabelle ended up being a strawberry shake. But the girls got their chicken nuggets, Diann and Bill got a diet coke and fries, and Chloe REALLY enjoyed the strawberry shake. All in all...mission accomplished. But although we won't dwell much on it here, remember to ask Diann about the, as she calls the, the squattie potties that she's becoming quite adept at using. Or at least at helping Chloe and Isabelle to use We tried to look around in a couple of stores in the mall, but Chloe decided she had had enough. So we took our show on the road back to the hotel. By this time it had grown quite a bit colder, so we grabbed a taxi for the short ride back. After the two girls enjoyed a bubble bath sponsored by Mom, they both fell asleep fairly quickly at we were all in bed very early. Which is probably good because tomorrow we check out of the hotel and Chloe takes the next step in her journey to our forever family. We go to Guangzhou, a 3 1/2 hour flight, to start taking care of business with the U.S. Consulate. The pictures we're sending along today remind me of a scripture found in 3 Nephi 17:23, "And he (Jesus) spake unto the multitude, and said unto them: Behold your little ones."

The Formalities

First of all, let us apologize for the infrequent posting while we've been in China. Since the Chinese government has restrictions of certain blog site and social networking sites, we've been unable to make entries directly to our blog or to Facebook. But let me throw a shout-out to our daughter Dallys who has agreed to do a cut and paste job for us whenever we can get her an update. Thanks, Dallys! Today started out with patience-taxing formalities, and ended with Chloe showing more and more of her sweet personality by the hour. Immediately after breakfast this morning we met our guide and another family who is adopting from this region, and went to a conference room here in the hotel. It was time for the formalities. Even though the process in getting to this point supposedly included a review of our backgrounds, finances, criminal records, etc, this was one last chance for the Chinese authorities to review key information and put there stamp of approval on the adoption. It's important to note, too, that in getting "custody" of Chloe yesterday, we signed papers that it was a 24-hour "trial period," after which we must get back together and indicate that we were satisfied with things. We first met with a representative of the orphanage who finalized the paperwork between us and them, essentially transferring custody of Chloe to us permanently. This also included payment of the "mandatory gift" (a term we've always found interesting). The amount of the required "gift" has almost doubled since we adoped Isabelle three years ago, be we hope that of all the expenses involved in this process, that this one makes a difference for some children because it goes to the orphanage. This woman seemed very kind, both yesterday and today, but she seemed to be a bit taken back when Chloe barely acknowledged her presence. And that follows yesterday when, as she was leaving our hotel room, Chloe didn't cry or fuss at all. She seemed very much at ease with us (the mother of the other adoptive child said Chloe acted like she had been with us for a long time.) We really hope that the orphanage representative, who we believe was one of Chloe's nannies, didn't take it too personally. We believe strongly that Chloe's quick acceptance of her situation is the result of many prayers by many people that she would somehow be prepared for the transition that she had no idea was coming. And it appears that those prayers have been answered in abundance. Our next vist was with a representative of the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA). Of course, this included payment of another fee...the registration fee. And although we really try to accept cultural differences in the way things are done, this was a guy who seemed like he really didn't like his job. We realize there are certain procedures that must be followed, but adopting a child should be a time of celebration. From what we recall everyone involved in Isabelle's adoption seemed to make it that way. But this guy was gruff and no-nonsense, and turned our meeting into what felt like an interrogation. We tried to be upbeat and cheerful in responding to his questions, but it got very little response. Except when, in asking us about how many children we have combined, he realized that by adding little Chloe we have a super-sized Brady Bunch. At that point we got a chuckle out of him, but it seemed to be one of derision. We realize that we go completely against the Chinese norms, but his response left us feeling uncomfortable. But it didn't last long...Chloe wouldn't let it! Finally, a bit more paperwork and signatures with the notary...the woman who takes the information from the orphanage and the approval from the CCAA and makes it official. Another fee payment (this one required to be in US Dollars as opposed to Chinese currency for some reason) and we were one our way. And none too soon! The room was stuffy and the hotel had not turned the AC on, and it had been a chore for Diann to keep Izzy and Chloe occupied for more than 2 hours while Bill primarily dealt with the paperwork. But it was over. And after a few hours our guide, Sarah, came to our hotel room with the official documents. According to the Chinese government Chloe is now our daughter. We just need to wait for her Chinese passport (she's our daughter, but still a Chinese citizen) in order to leave Hohhot and go to Guangzhou to jump through the US government's hoops. But through it all, Chloe has opened up more and more. We're seeing behaviors that we didn't see in Isabelle for a long time, and attribute them to the fact that Chloe was in foster care for the first year and a half of her life, only having gone to the orphanage in Baotou last October after the provincial government recalled all children who have been in foster care after a couple of house fires in foster homes. Chloe has an incredibly engaging smile, and loves to laugh. She loves to play hide and seek. She will hide behind a bed, or around the corner of a wall, and poke her head out to see who is watching, and when she makes eye contact with someone she will giggle and giggle. And this girl loves to eat. We brought along quite a selection of Gerber "Graduates" snacks for toddlers, and to watch her eat them and protect them you would think she'd been starved for months. That doesn't appear to be the case because she is a bit chunky, as opposed to the almost emaciated condition we found Isabelle in. But from what we've read in preparing for this (again) the kids coming from orphanages will either eat everything in site, or they develop a survival function of not appearing to need or want to eat. Isabelle was the latter, but Chloe will eat until you take it away...and then she'll point and grunt until you give her more. But she is apparently a picky eater. She loves rice or noodles, but isn't too fond of fruit. And she loves to chase whatever she's eating with a drink of water or apple juice. We are so blessed. As we sat in our room to wind down from the day, we remarked how amazing it is that adoptive parents, not just us, frequently talk about how their child could not be more perfect for them. And we're no exception. Isabelle was a perfect fit for our family, and Chloe is as well...but in so many different ways. We acknowledge the hand of a loving God, who is in the details of our lives, that has blessed us so abundantly. We'll post more...well Dallys will...in the next few days.

Gotcha Day!

Skyping with her Jei Jei's

It was a long couple of days getting here, but today Pan Xia became a member of our family.

It took 4 seperate flights, more than 20 hours of flying time, and a very short night at Beijing hotel to do it, but we got to Hohhot a little after noon on monday. We were met at the airport by a wonderful guide arranged through WACAP who, on the ride to our hotel informed us that the decision had been made to delay bringing Xia to us until Tuesday. They figured (although we are not sure who "they" are for this one) that it would be better for us to use Monday for rest so we could be fresh when Xia was placed in our care. While somewhat dissapointing it was probably for the best.

So this morning one of the nannies from Baotou brought little Pan Xia to our hotel room. And much like it was with Isabelle almost three years ago, it was love at first site. Actually, it was more of a confirmation, because to paraphrase one of Dianns favorite songs about this process "We loved her before we met her." Our guide had gone to the lobby to meet them, and Diann was waiting anxiously in the hallway. As soon as we saw her holding the nannies hands, our hearts melted.

The nannie picked Xia up and handed her to Diann, but apparently (as expected) the idea of having someone who looked and sounded to different from what she was used to was quite frightening to her, and she cried pretty hard. But after a couple of minutes she warmed up to us, and the doting began. And she has been smiling and laughing ever since.

She has such a sweet little personality. She loves the little toys we brought her to play with. And she cant get enough of the treats! She seems especially fond of the Graduate Puffs and the Welchs fruit snacks.

But its her smile and laugh that is so endearing. We were very quickly to get her to giggle.And it seems that sharing those moments have helped create a bond that has assured Xia's little spirit that everything was going to be okay.And when her nannie left the room (to be seen again tomorrow when everything is finalized after our 24 hour "trial period") she waved goodbye with a captivating smile that told us that she was comfortable where she was.

We believe firmly that the hand of God is in the details of our lives,and this experience is no exception. It was confirmed to us today that this little girl has been placed in our care for many reasons...some of which we will find out in His due time.

Matched!

As you may know, our desire to adopt a sibling for Isabelle included a willingness to agree to a child with "special needs." Isabelle was technically a special needs child, but with the exception of being noticably smaller than children of the same age you would never know.

Our application and required home study both specified the fact that we were particularly interested in a child with the same challenges as Isabelle. We have studied extensively about it and have identified medical experts to help in her care, so we thought we could easily accept a child in a similar situation. (An added plus is the waiting time for a child with special needs is significantly shorter than the 4-year wait currently being experienced by those looking for a completely healthy child.)

But as the lists of children with such needs have come out of China over the last several months, there were none with the same needs. So we decided to broaden our horizons a bit. We contacted our case worker at WACAP and discussed the possibility of accepting a child with a different need.

It didn't take long. A couple of days later I got a call at work from Diann. She asked if I had time available to look at some information we had received about a child. She informed me that we were working under a tight deadline; we had until 5:00 that afternoon to decide if we were interested in this child. Fortunately I was able to juggle a couple of things, and the events of the next hour or so are nothing short of divinely guided.

Those of you who know us know that we are people of faith. And I can tell you unequivocally that we were prompted to expand our search to include other needs. Because as I looked at the 3 pictures we received, and reviewed the brief history and medical information we were provided, I had an overwhelming impression that our Heavenly Father wanted us to take care of this little girl.

In these situations it is common practice, before accepting a referral, to have the child's medical records reviewed by a doctor specializing in international adoptions. We had already identified an expert at UAB, and were fortunate that she was available for consultation later that day. After she helped us understand the nature of this little girl's issues we were confident that we could provide the care she needs.

The next step was to draft a letter to the Chinese adoption authorities expressing our interest in adopting the child, and detailing our understanding of her needs and the steps we would take to provide the necessary care. The letter was written and sent to WACAP by the 5:00pm deadline, and just like that our family became "locked-in" for the eventual adoption of a little girl who is now known as Xia. (pronounced shee-AH) I say eventual because there is still a series of formalities that must occur before we are invited to go to China and add this little girl to our family.

But in the meantime, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Xia. She will be 2 years old next month and is currently living in one of the northern provinces of China. (This will be a different experience for us, as Isabelle had lived in a southern, coastal province.)

When Xia joins our family, we intend to have her be known as Chloe Mei Xia. Chloe was the name of my paternal great-grandmother, and a name which we really like. The middle name Mei is taken from the Chinese for "little sister." And, as we did with Isabelle, we are using her Chinese given name as a second middle name in an attempt to help instill a tie to her heritage.

What a wonderful, early Christmas gift! Kaycie and Ravyn have already shown the same loving excitement they did when Isabelle arrived (thank you, girls!) and Isabelle can't stop talking about all the things she's going to help Chloe learn. We are truly blessed.

LID!

Those in the Chinese adoption community will recognize the acronym in the title of this post. Yes, we have a log-in date (LID). For the rest of you, the final real hurdle, other than being matched with a child, is to have your dossier logged-in by the China Center of Adoption Affairs - - - or CCAA. And we received word today that we were logged-in on 9/28/09.

Since we will be adopting a child with special needs, we won't be waiting the almost 4 years that those waiting for a completely healthy child will wait. But there's no telling when we'll find this child. We knew immediately when we saw Isabelle's picture that she was meant for us. And we have faith that we'll be similarly guided this time.

The Waiting Game

I have said, only somewhat jokingly, on many occasions that biological parents should be required to jump through all of the hoops adoptive parents are faced with. I guarantee you we'd all be better parents and by extension society would benefit. But enough of my editorial comment.

We have received the last official clearance needed from this side of the Pacific. The U.S. government, specifically the Department of Homeland Security, has approved our application to adopt from China. The approval to our I-800A application is very specific. It states the we're approved to adopt a female up to 24 months old, from China, with certain minor medical issues.

In the meantime our placement agency, WACAP, has been busy verifying the authenticity of all of the documents and notarized statements we provided for our dossier. We're told this should be completed in the next couple of weeks, and then our dossier will be placed in the hands of the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs (CCAA.)

While all of this is happening, we are working on a project that we would like to invite you to participate in. We are creating something called a "100 Good Wishes Quilt." To welcome and celebrate a new life, there is a tradition in the northern part of China to make a Bai Jia Bei -- or "100 Good Wishes Quilt."

It is a custom to invite 100 people to contribute a single square patch of cloth. The 100 patches are sewn together into a quilt that contains the luck, energy, and good wishes from all the families and friends who contributed a piece of fabric. The quilt is then passed down from generation to generation. We invite you to please participate in this project.

We love the idea of welcoming this child into our home with a quilt that represents the good wishes you are all sending her way. Here is what we would like you to do:

1. Choose ANY 100% cotton fabric that you like. It can be from clothing or from a fabric store. It just needs to be a design and color that you like.

2. Cut ONE 6" X 6" square from the fabric.

3. Include your "good wish note". We will place all your wishes in a scrapbook that we will give to the child.

Ideas for selecting fabric squares:
*Select a fabric that is meaningful to you.
*100% cotton fabric is best, as it washes and wears better.
*If there are several members in your family, please feel free to send more than 1 piece of fabric. It would be so special to include good wishes from all members of your family!! In China, these quilts were originally made from garments of family and friends, which would surround the child with luck/good wishes.

Ideas for good wishes note:
Well...what would you wish for an adopted child for her life? Some ideas that come to mind are good health, perseverance, compassion, and sense of humor. Use that as a guide for your good wish note. Keep in mind that she will not read or understand your note until she is older. Also, please include a small piece of fabric on the wish.

If possible, we would like to get the fabric and notes by Thanksgiving. The quilt is being designed and assembled as a family project over the holidays. Please take a few minutes from your busy schedules to help us create this very special keepsake for Isabelle's sibling.

If you're interested in participating in this project, please leave a comment with your email address. We'll email you the address to which you can send your fabric and good wishes.

Thank you!!!

The Journey Begins Again

A little more than two years ago, we sat in the waiting area of the Adoption Registry Center of Guangdong Province, China. Somewhere in an adjoining room Shan Wei Chun, now known as Isabelle, was about to being the transition that would bring more joy to our family than we could have ever imagined.

Not long after Isabelle joined our family, we began feeling strongly that she needed a sibling close to her own age. The youngest of our other children is more than 11 years older than her. And while her two older sisters love and care for her beyond our wildest expectations, we realized that by time time Isabelle is 7 she would probably be left without anyone but us to play with. Besides, we initially began the adoption process hoping to make a difference. And if making a difference for one little girl can bring us so much joy, imagine how wonderful it would be if we had two!

When we first decided to adopt from China, we came across a supposed "Chinese Legend" that summed up our feelings for what we were doing. It is call the Legend of the Red Thread, and says very simply: "An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but will never break." As we work toward adding another little spirit to our family, this will once again be our thought. Only this time we're adding a second red thread to the one already established.

We have finally finished the paper chase that is the international adoption process, and have been accepted into the China program at WACAP, our adoption facilitator. We now look forward to untangling that second red thread and finding that daughter of God in a foreign land who is meant to join our family. Through this blog we will share with you that journey.